• Sex Therapist & Psychologist in San Diego, California

    Kink-Identified Psychologist

    LGBTQIA+ Affirming Psychologist

    Non-Monogamy Inclusive Psychologist

    My name is Eric van der Voort, PsyD. I am a kink-identified Sex Therapist and Licensed Psychologist (CA Lic. # PSY27892) based in San Diego. I offer Individual and Couples Psychotherapy and Sex Therapy services to adults throughout California.

    I specialize in providing effective treatment to sexual minority groups (kinky folx, LGBTQIA+ community members, and those in non-traditional relationship structures). If you don’t identify with any of the above, that’s OK! I also work well with those with more traditional or “vanilla” preferences. The majority of cases I take on involve one or more of the following: sexual performance issues, relationship concerns, communication problems, substance misuse, depression, anxiety, & grief. My ultimate goal is to help you live a more mindful, intimate, and rewarding life so you can experience better sex and overall wellness.

    My Question to You:

    Would you like to feel more empowered by your sexual and erotic desires, more attuned to your wants and needs, more confident in expressing yourself, more connected to your partner(s), or more knowledgable about how to enjoy better sex? You might even be interested in all of the above! If so, I’d love to help. Together, we will identify and address the barriers that keep you from getting more of what you want, both in and out of the bedroom.

    My Commitment to You:

    Not satisfied with simply helping you to feel “less bad,” you have my commitment to help you pursue pleasure, experience more moments of joy, and sustainably create a live worth celebrating. I work hard to provide the highest caliber of care using evidence-based treatments, up-to-date research-informed practices, and multidisciplinary collaboration. My clinical approach is informed by years of experience, active involvement in post-licensure education and training, as well as professional mentorship from some of the world’s leading sex therapists and authors on sex and sexuality, Marty Klein, Ph.D, LMFT, CST-S and Margaret Nichols, Ph.D., CST-S.

    When you’re ready to feel more confident, to communicate more effectively, to explore your kinky fantasies, and to discover new ways of experiencing pleasure, I invite you to schedule your free Introductory Phone CallI look forward to helping you enjoy better sex and overall wellness.

    Common Concerns Addressed in Sex Therapy

    BDSM, Kinks, & Fantasies

    • You have sexual fantasies you’d like to explore but you’re unsure where or how to start.
    • You feel guilty or ashamed about your interests or attractions to certain types of people, porn, kinks, or fantasies.
    • You’re interested in learning more about kinks/BDSM, consent, power exchange, and how to play safely.

    Performance Anxiety & Desire Discrepancies

    • You sometimes feel like there’s something wrong with your body when it comes to sex.
    • You are less interested in sex than you or your partner(s) would like, or than you used to be.
    • You find it difficult to get and maintain an erection or lubrication during sex.

    Substance Use & Sex

    • Most or all of the sex you have or enjoy happens while you’re under the influence of a substance.
    • Thinking about having sex without drugs or alcohol gives you anxiety.
    • Alcohol or substance use is preventing you from connecting with others or creating the intimacy you’d like to have.

    Sexuality & Sexual Identity

    • You’d like to explore your sexuality and to feel more sexually confident.
    • The sex you’re having is not the sex you really want.
    • You want to have better sex more often.
    • You’ve tried “spicing things up” in the bedroom, only to fall back into old patterns shortly afterward.
    • You feel frustrated or hopeless with the quality of sex you have.
    • Since COVID and/or your last sexual relationship, it’s been harder for you to feel comfortable having sex with new people.
    • You’ve previously felt judged or embarrassed when talking about your sex life to important people in your life.

    Pornography & Masturbation

    • Porn use is interfering with your self-esteem, relationships, work, or other obligations.
    • You have been told that you have a porn or sex “addiction,” or you feel guilty or ashamed about your use of porn or sex.
    • It is sometimes easier for you to masturbate to porn than it is to find pleasure in having partnered sex.
    • You feel disconnected from your values when you use porn, online dating, hookup apps, strip clubs, or sex workers.
    • You have difficulty becoming aroused, wet, erect, or experiencing an orgasm if you’re not looking at porn.

    Relationships & Effective Communication

    • You want to better communicate with your partner(s) about sex.
    • It’s hard for you to tell your partner(s) your sexual wants and needs.
    • You allow your sexual and romantic desires to go unspoken and unmet.
    • You often put the needs of others above your own, leaving you to feel unfulfilled and resentful.
    • You feel like you’re missing the emotional and/or sexual intimacy you wish you had with your partner(s).
    • You’re thinking about opening up your relationship, whether for love, sex, or both.

    Ready to Enjoy Better Sex?