• Welcome

    My name is Dr. Eric van der Voort, a kink-identified Psychologist (Lic. # PSY27892) & Certified Sex Therapist. My passion is helping motivated individuals and couples reignite intimacy and reclaim their sexuality. Regardless of where you are in California, I provide individualized high quality care from my virtual office in San Diego.

    My practice is inclusive of all sexual orientations, identifies, kinks, relationship structures, and behaviors between consenting adults. I specialize in helping kinky, non-monogamous, & LGBTQ+ people living with sexual performance anxieties, desire discrepancies, porn use, substance use, and communication difficulties. I also help straight-identified men understand and appreciate their attraction to trans women.

    If you want to better understand and appreciate yourself as a sexual being, challenge unhelpful thoughts, improve communication with your partner, be more present during sex, and explore new ways of experiencing pleasure, let’s talk. I’d love to help you reach those goals. 

    Call me today to get started on your journey toward better sex and overall wellness.

    Common Concerns Addressed in Sex Therapy

    BDSM, Kinks, & Fantasies

    • You have sexual fantasies you’d like to explore but you’re unsure where or how to start.
    • You feel guilty or ashamed about your interests or attractions to certain types of people, porn, kinks, or fantasies.
    • You’re interested in learning more about kinks/BDSM, consent, power exchange, and how to play safely.

    Performance Anxiety & Desire Discrepancies

    • You sometimes feel like there’s something wrong with your body when it comes to sex.
    • You are less interested in sex than you or your partner would like, or than you used to be.
    • You find it difficult to get and maintain an erection or lubrication during sex.

    Substance Use & Sex

    • Most or all of the sex you have or enjoy happens while you’re under the influence of a substance.
    • Thinking about having sex without drugs or alcohol gives you anxiety.
    • Alcohol or substance use is preventing you from connecting with others or creating the intimacy you’d like to have.

    Attraction & Sexual Preference

    • You’d like to explore your sexuality and to feel more sexually confident.
    • The sex you’re having is not the sex you really want.
    • You want to have better sex more often.
    • You’ve tried “spicing things up” in the bedroom, only to fall back into old patterns shortly afterward.
    • You feel frustrated or hopeless with the quality of sex you have.
    • Since COVID and/or your last sexual relationship, it’s been harder for you to feel comfortable having sex with new people.
    • You’ve previously felt judged or embarrassed when talking about your sex life to important people in your life.

    Sex/Porn "Addiction"

    • Your sex or porn use is interfering with your self-esteem, relationships, work, or other obligations.
    • You have been told that you have a porn or sex “addiction,” or you feel guilty or ashamed about your use of porn or sex.
    • It is sometimes easier for you to masturbate to porn than it is to find pleasure in having partnered sex.
    • You feel disconnected from your values in the ways you engage with porn, online dating, hookup apps, strip clubs, or sex workers.
    • You have difficulty becoming aroused, wet, erect, or experiencing an orgasm if you’re not looking at porn.

    Relationships & Effective Communication

    • You want to better communicate with your partner about sex.
    • It’s hard for you to tell your partner your sexual wants and needs.
    • You allow your sexual and romantic desires to go unspoken and unmet.
    • You often put the needs of others above your own, leaving you to feel unfulfilled and resentful.
    • You feel like you’re missing the emotional and/or sexual intimacy you wish you had with your partner.
    • You’re thinking about opening up your relationship, whether for love, sex, or both.

    Ready to Enjoy Better Sex?